Life choices

I have a very bad habit. I like to dwell on bad happenings and keep my feelings without dissolving them. I cannot let go the feelings easily and when I do, the matter has progressed to a stage that is irreversible. I find that I run away from reality more than staying to solve the problem. This habit has created regrets and unhappiness in my life.

I realised that this habit has also hindered my career progress. If I am given a chance to start all over again, I will have stay in my job at Paragon. I will not have quitted my current job. But everything is too late. Non of the events are reversible. I should have followed my heart. My rebellious and stubborn nature has created another path for me.

For the past 3 weeks, I cannot sleep well over the decision that I have made. This is the first time that I feel that there is no way out. I pondered over the questions: Where is my priority? Jewellery business or Career?

If I choose jewellery business, what do I lack of and how I can progress from there? Do my current job allows me time to do my own stuff? Am I escaping from the frustration and anger at my current workplace? Should I leave now when my bosses started to look highly on me?

If I choose career, it will be like an insurance for me. If my jewellery business failed, I will have something to fall back on. The new opportunity gives me more career prospects. However life will become hectic.

Even though I have already made the decision, my heart has chosen a mid-route. I told myself nothing is impossible. I have chosen a challenging path. I will continue to do my jewellery in the midst of my upcoming busy life. I am afriad that my health will fail me. I am afraid that my passion for jewellery making will slowly dissolved. Fear suddenly overwhelmed me, making me regreted over my choice.

Everything is irreversible now. I have to look forward. I learnt a lesson: Listen and follow your heart. Bless me.