Fix or change for a new year

Throwing away old stuff always give me a sense of relief. Perhaps because it removes the clutter that have been in the way for so long. However sometimes sentiments over something holds me back. It is not easy to throw away old memories especially the happy-turn-rotten ones.

I started the first day of the new year shopping with a friend...hmm..bought 2 black dresses...oops..that is a staple for my job...but I need more colors...I returned home...glad to see my cousin at my house. I spent the night chatting to my virtual special friend, Saint. The chat ended with a bad taste, deleting this person from my msn and leaving me insomnia till 4+am. I was disgusted at how selfish and greedy some man can be.

Feeling the hangover of bad mood, I went to the hair salon, wanting a new and light look. I rebonded and cut my hair and fringe. hmmm..perhaps I look younger but not really different...I ended up overspending again...bought 2 bags from Gracious Aires costing me close to $200...shucks I should start saving.....

How I hope Saturday will never end. The thought of getting back to work dreads me. I hate to face all the outstanding issues and pressure. I told myself that I need to be positive. Yes I am in the midst of finding ways to be positive.

I love Christmas!

Christmas is always my favorite holiday. I feel that love is in the air. I start a new habit years back...where I give little gifts more people other than close friends. Sometimes you get pleasant surprises.

This year, I received the following gifts:
1) Lancome lip gloss from Deon
2) Clinique blusher from Joanna
3) Chocolate fondue set from Sexy (18 Dec dinner)
4) Precious Moment Photo Frame with "Irene and Me" Photos from Irene
5) Crystal bear key chain from Sexy
6) Grapefruit sea salt from Nancy
7) Rose bath salt from Lilian
8) Mini Christmas Tree and notebook from Sheryl
9) Robin Sharma book and Japanese bookmarks from Buddy Serene
10) Red doggie pouch and M&S Chocolate from Cousin Pei San
11) Harrods little black bag from Sis Trixy
12) T-shirt and pouch from Sis Huihui
13) Coin purse from Angeline
14) Shell necklace from Leelee
15) Godiva chocolate from Kokhwee
16) Belt from Mandy
17) Crabtree Evelyn handcream and M&S Chocolate from Sharon
18) Mango handcream and shower gel from Cherie
19) Taiwan musical display, shell bracelet, glass tortoise in a bottle and mummy keychain from Buddy Pao Chun
20) Precious Moment "Love" Figurine & Hershey chocolate from Hwee Yinn
21) Good Luck Vampire from Cindy

I invited my aunties and cousins to my house for a Christmas Lunch on 25th Dec. Happy! Happy! And I Merry Christmas myself with many new dresses haha...

All I wish for Christmas is Good health, Peace and Happiness!

Friendship with scar

What is your priority in life? Love, Family, Career and Friendship. The answer is to balance them. I know it is a challenge...Thus I make decision based on timing & importance.

I know some friends who prioritise love as their first priority. I have a friend whose calls kept coming in from her bf everytime I go out with her. I feel irritated. Thus you get a feeling that you go out with her and her boyfriend.

Then I also know a friend who has to check with her boyfriend whether he free before she decides to go out or abandon us. We are adults. Why do we have to make decision based on others' decision? This really pissed me off. Are we your backup plan should your date fails to fall through.

I also know one friend who wear clothes based on her boyfriend's preference. She likes purple but her boyfriend don't. Thus she suppresses her liking and following her boyfriend's liking. Can you make your own decision? If that love of yours leave you, will you be lost since your decision is based on someone else?

Another friend of mine is the champion. She appears in gathering only when she breaks up with her boyfriend. Otherwise she disappeared in her love world.

Whatever decision you make, you will have to make sacrifices. If you sacrifice friendship and choose love, then you will lose some friends. If you sacrifice family and choose career, then you will lose it. Thus balance it.

Escape

It is already March! Time flied. It has been 2 months of anger, resentment and frustration dealing with stuff at work that I decided to take a 2 days break.

I woke up and was glad that it is a sunny day. I changed into my 3/4 pants and T-shirt and headed off to Bugis. It has been some time since I went out leisurely alone. I went to Guan Yin Temple to pray and thank for the blessings. Then went window shopping at Bugis Street and Haji Lane.

After walking for several hours, I decided to treat myself NYDC cake. I chose a seat by the window and enjoyed the view showing the people shopping at the hylam street. Taking my book to read while waiting for the cake and drink to be served. Ocassional indulgence. And it came to my surprise when I saw the bill over $16 for just a cake and a drink.

Glad that time passed slowly. I wondered if some angels have wound the time back. Then I took a train home. In the train, I was thinking how fortunate I am to have a break,

Forgive and forget

Recently, a colleague J passed away due to cancer. I felt heavy even though I was not close to her. I got to know J through my ex-lunch kakis. She used to travel with me and the group to Cambodia for the missionary trip in Feb 2007.

Months ago, J requested to add me as a friend in facebook but I rejected. I felt that she was a selfish person and I did not want a friend like that. However when news of her passing spread, I felt a sense of regret.

Perhaps I should learn to forgive and forget.

Don't remind me of Valentine's Day

I had a super busy and tiring day. Screamed too much at agency till my voice is hoarse. I have met many people. Glad that I have made some contacts. I feel so relieved that the event is over.

Tomorrow is Valentine's day. I have never celebrated Valentine's Day. Virgin Valentine Day still available hahahah...coz the first relationship ended before that. On this day, I never like to go out. Seeing other ladies carrying flowers make me envious and jealous.

The happiest Valentine's Day I had was when I worked in a florist at Tampines Mall many years ago. I enjoyed seeing those guys coming to buy and send flowers to their loved one. I can felt that love was in the air. I could see that they are excited and happy to meet their date.

Ironically, I feel lucky that I am kept busy tomorrow. I will be out working and then going to boss's wedding. So that I have an excuse that I have no time to celebrate Valentine's Day. A sour feeling I guess.

Unsung hero - Insult or Praise?

I first learnt of the term "Unsung hero" in American idol and William Hung got that title. When the company gives the title as a reward to a colleague of mine. I felt happy yet angry for her. Why? Happy that she got her recognition after hard work. Angry with why the award was named "Unsung hero".

Is it because it is given to staff of lower rank only? Is it because the work done is considered easy? I will never want to receive such award as I feel that it is an insult to my pride and hard work. Why go managers get to receive platinum, gold and silver award while admin staff have to receive "Unsung hero" award? If "Unsung hero" award is given to me, I will tear it into pieces as I do not want it to remind me of the discrimination.

HR, I think you badly need to revamp the title of the award as you are promoting discrimination and biases.