Shit hole

It has been a long time since I blogged. I avoided to blog as I was afraid that this journal would become a swearing script.

Yes I am angry 90% of the time. I blew my top a no. of time that I felt that I had somehow lost control of my temper and emotions. I scratched my documents into pieces with a pen when trying to accept some ideas that I was not convinced. I ran out of the meeting room when I could hear no more nonsense. I almost broke a pen when trying to listening to my boss's way of doing things. I shouted at a super rude delivery guy. I slammed the phone so hard that I thought the handle will break into two.

Yes I am unhappy. I wanted to stop quitting my job. But I found that this was the most ridiculous place to work in. Some examples are as follow:
1) Calling me five times when I am on mc
2) Calling me on non-working Saturday 9am to instruct me things that can be done on Mon
3) Keep asking me to change the ad without knowing what they want. Concept changes can be as many as five times. I have over twenty versions for one ad. Oh god, I need a mind reader!!!
4) Asking to book ad this week when the concept/ design of the ad was not yet finalised. It has always been a rat race...chasing endless deadlines.
5) Seeing the visual several times with minor amendments each time and major changes at the last round. It was like a heart attack each time.
6) Approved on a visual and after it was being printed, asked me to tell him what was wrong with the ad.
7) Deadlines were never fixed. Postpone again and again. Then we realised the project was launched two months later. We rushed and rushed and in the end, you felt like scolding "#*^&%#@#".

I voted my workplace as the worst place one will ever work in. 5 Stars *****

Lessons in Entrepreneurship

Recently, there are many changes in my life. A new job. A new course. A new retail space to sell my jewellery. I experienced different emotions during this phase. Excited about my new discovery and learning. Angry over the different working culture. Fearful of the big and bigger risk that I have taken. Happy that I have made new friends.

I rediscovered myself from a meek and lifeless mouse to a aggressive tigeress. Perhaps entreprenuership has caused in the change in my character. I become more hardworking..went sourcing on weekends and working till 4am on saturdays to work on my jewellery pieces. I love the challenge to test my new idea and formulate a strategy to test whether it really works.

At work, I stood up for my viewpoint more strongly. I saw the "me" during the poly days where I was very aggressive in leading the project team. Unfortunately,the company culture is not approving such attitude.

I felt angry. I tried to look at a positive side, telling myself that I could slowly overcame this. But the biggest problem is the management hears but not listens. They rejected ideas without really listening to the main point or understanding the concept. The reason they gave was "Not nice!! Cannot!!" I am very frustrated because they don't understand what concept is, telling me to change the name of the development without changing the concept...huh....does that relate to the name of the development???? I told myself that I will not make this mistake if I become an entreprenuer in the future.

Another mistake I learnt was that they did not trust their employees...Can you imagine that I have to get my CEO to approve the directional signage that comes with a logo and arrow???...OMG...so unproductive!!! Designs are subjective and guess how many times the design has been changed. Think it is going to break the Guinness World of Records.

The worst thing that happen to me is that I am reporting to an Operations Manager who does not understand what Marketing is all about...who does not know what a DM stands and ask me to do whatever the boss likes. I got so furious that I asked him why and what he hired me for. I am not here to just take instructions. A maid can do that.

Enough of grumbles! I will tolerate for the sake of my dream till a suitable opportunity comes.....

Vulnerability

You are vulnerable when
1) you are sick
2) you have no family or family that you cannot relate to
3) you have no friends or friends that are physically but not emotionally there

I remember that I nearly fainted a few times when I was young. Yes my mum was with me. Yes my cousin was with me. Many things ran through my mind these days. Maybe because I was not feeling well.

I was feeling dizzy on last Friday but I still went ahead to source for my jewellery supplies. I asked myself what if I fainted on the street and no one would ever care.

Today I went jogging. Maybe I had not been training for some time. After running for about 2km, I felt uncomfortable. Suddenly my vision became blurred. I tried hard to figure my way to cross the road and sat on the step at a HDB flat. After resting, I felt much better and my vision regained. I walked all the way back, acknowledging my failure.

I realised that I had always put up a brave front in the eyes of everyone. I hardly showed my true feelings to anyone. There were times that I felt so tired but I could not show. There were times I felt so alone in the world. There were some time I asked myself where my true friends were. Perhaps blog is the only place where I can truly be myself.

Taxi Fight

No taxi in sight!!! More and more people flagging the cab in front of you!!!!! These are the common problems that we face when trying to get a cab.

This is a "hair-pulling" experience especially when you are rushing for time. 10mins passed. I saw a young lady flagging about 3m away from me. I stared at her furiously. Then I saw her crossing to the opposite street to flag. 5mins later, a middle-aged lady started flagging and got away in a taxi. 10mins passed. Another group of 3 came and flag about 2m away from me. By this time, I am not going to give them a chance ...I walked past them, stood about 5m in front of them and then flagging.

Finally, I managed to get a taxi.

Silence

Sometimes I hope that my mind can stop talking to me at a moment, giving me some peace.


Sometimes I wish that I can eliminate silence. Do you realise that we are lost of words and there is an awkward silence when we meet up with friends that we have not seen for some time?


It hurts when you care but you do not know how to express. Suddenly you are afriad that you will lose the friendship and becomes like strangers. It takes great effort to maintain relationships. If we don't do so, the relationship will become bland.

Imposter

I am a tai tai. I am an entrepreneur. I am an investor. How I wish all these are real. At least I am acting in my dreams...Haha...I enjoyed playing these roles when I visited showflats...

Shhhh......In reality, I am an imposter...in more refined term "mystery shopper" doing competitive checks...or actress-in-training haha....suddenly I am inspired to become a real estate agent...

"Ohhh...I am thinking of converting my new house into a home office...a design studio. Which are the 2-bedroom units left? How much are you selling per sqf?" - Yeah....I am an entreprenuer!!!

"Thanks for showing me around. Let me go back and discuss with my hubby?" - Suddenly I am married hehe....shucks where is the 3-carat diamond ring? Damn...should ask company to sponsor me as prop.

I nearly let the cat out when a property agent walked me out and asked me where I parked my car. Luckily I acted fast and said,"Ohh....my car is sent for maintenance. I took a cab here. " I suddenly think of the movie "Liar Liar"

It is fun!!! I should visit more showflats.

Toe Scare!

Yesterday I nearly lost my toes. Thanks to my colleague. If not, I have to say,"Goodbye, Toes!"

After lunch, my colleagues were going up the escalator to go back to the carpark. We were chatting about the new shoes that they just bought. I was trying to stand sideways to face them. Subconsciously, I leaned one of my foot against the side of the escalator. Suddenly I realised that it was stuck. I was trying to pull out my shoe but couldn't. Thus I told my colleagues. I was wondering why I didn't pull out my foot first.

Luckily one of my colleagues pulled it from the back, saving my toes. What a close shave! We were very near the end of the escalator. Then I turned behind and realised that there was a handsome guy behind us. So embarrassing! I found it more hilarious than feeling scared.

I nearly broke the Singapore's record of first adult's toes being stuck on escalator. Phew!!!