What makes you fall in love?

Yesterday, my colleagues and I were discussing about love life over lunch. Two married and two single. I was surprised to find out that all of us met jerks. I was glad that I was not the only one.

Kathryn mentioned that he just knew this Denmark guy during her recent diving trip. He was the diving instructor. She did not find him attractive when she first knew him. But one sentence changed her mind. They are talking about what their happiest moment in life was. Both of them happened to have the same answer - when I went diving and I saw a whale. At that moment, she thought he was the guy that she was looking for. Perhaps this was called chemistry.

If you asked me what make me fall in love previously, I suddenly couldn't find an answer. Perhaps what I thought was true love is only an infatuation.

Many WHYs are swimming in my mind

Thanks Maggie. I felt better.Throw away some inferiority and some fear. Thanks for letting me know that I am not alone when I am trying to hide my feelings from the rest of the world. Thanks for believing in me when I am about to give up on myself. Thanks for giving some courage to restart a new life.

Thanks Shermaine and Irene. They reminded me of the dream that I have. They have given me encouragement simply by appreciating my designs. Throw away some procrastination.

Today, I am still asking myself many WHYs. My current state of life is made of many ironies
- A dream job is presented right in front of me. And I rejected it due to my personal circumstances. But my heart is full of regrets and battling to convince myself that I have made the right choice. Why???
- I told myself to get a job which I didn't have to work weekends due to my commitment to my jewellery making. And I did one ironically. Why???
- I am a marketing person. But I guess my personality has turned from introverted to anti-social. Why???
- I told myself to give up on someone but he is still stuck in my mind. My heart seems to be waiting. Why???

My actions are contradicting with my thoughts. Somehow I feel lost. Sometimes I don't even believe myself. As I wonder on the street today, I feel the emptiness of my life.