Lessons in Entrepreneurship

Recently, there are many changes in my life. A new job. A new course. A new retail space to sell my jewellery. I experienced different emotions during this phase. Excited about my new discovery and learning. Angry over the different working culture. Fearful of the big and bigger risk that I have taken. Happy that I have made new friends.

I rediscovered myself from a meek and lifeless mouse to a aggressive tigeress. Perhaps entreprenuership has caused in the change in my character. I become more hardworking..went sourcing on weekends and working till 4am on saturdays to work on my jewellery pieces. I love the challenge to test my new idea and formulate a strategy to test whether it really works.

At work, I stood up for my viewpoint more strongly. I saw the "me" during the poly days where I was very aggressive in leading the project team. Unfortunately,the company culture is not approving such attitude.

I felt angry. I tried to look at a positive side, telling myself that I could slowly overcame this. But the biggest problem is the management hears but not listens. They rejected ideas without really listening to the main point or understanding the concept. The reason they gave was "Not nice!! Cannot!!" I am very frustrated because they don't understand what concept is, telling me to change the name of the development without changing the concept...huh....does that relate to the name of the development???? I told myself that I will not make this mistake if I become an entreprenuer in the future.

Another mistake I learnt was that they did not trust their employees...Can you imagine that I have to get my CEO to approve the directional signage that comes with a logo and arrow???...OMG...so unproductive!!! Designs are subjective and guess how many times the design has been changed. Think it is going to break the Guinness World of Records.

The worst thing that happen to me is that I am reporting to an Operations Manager who does not understand what Marketing is all about...who does not know what a DM stands and ask me to do whatever the boss likes. I got so furious that I asked him why and what he hired me for. I am not here to just take instructions. A maid can do that.

Enough of grumbles! I will tolerate for the sake of my dream till a suitable opportunity comes.....

Vulnerability

You are vulnerable when
1) you are sick
2) you have no family or family that you cannot relate to
3) you have no friends or friends that are physically but not emotionally there

I remember that I nearly fainted a few times when I was young. Yes my mum was with me. Yes my cousin was with me. Many things ran through my mind these days. Maybe because I was not feeling well.

I was feeling dizzy on last Friday but I still went ahead to source for my jewellery supplies. I asked myself what if I fainted on the street and no one would ever care.

Today I went jogging. Maybe I had not been training for some time. After running for about 2km, I felt uncomfortable. Suddenly my vision became blurred. I tried hard to figure my way to cross the road and sat on the step at a HDB flat. After resting, I felt much better and my vision regained. I walked all the way back, acknowledging my failure.

I realised that I had always put up a brave front in the eyes of everyone. I hardly showed my true feelings to anyone. There were times that I felt so tired but I could not show. There were times I felt so alone in the world. There were some time I asked myself where my true friends were. Perhaps blog is the only place where I can truly be myself.

Taxi Fight

No taxi in sight!!! More and more people flagging the cab in front of you!!!!! These are the common problems that we face when trying to get a cab.

This is a "hair-pulling" experience especially when you are rushing for time. 10mins passed. I saw a young lady flagging about 3m away from me. I stared at her furiously. Then I saw her crossing to the opposite street to flag. 5mins later, a middle-aged lady started flagging and got away in a taxi. 10mins passed. Another group of 3 came and flag about 2m away from me. By this time, I am not going to give them a chance ...I walked past them, stood about 5m in front of them and then flagging.

Finally, I managed to get a taxi.

Silence

Sometimes I hope that my mind can stop talking to me at a moment, giving me some peace.


Sometimes I wish that I can eliminate silence. Do you realise that we are lost of words and there is an awkward silence when we meet up with friends that we have not seen for some time?


It hurts when you care but you do not know how to express. Suddenly you are afriad that you will lose the friendship and becomes like strangers. It takes great effort to maintain relationships. If we don't do so, the relationship will become bland.

Imposter

I am a tai tai. I am an entrepreneur. I am an investor. How I wish all these are real. At least I am acting in my dreams...Haha...I enjoyed playing these roles when I visited showflats...

Shhhh......In reality, I am an imposter...in more refined term "mystery shopper" doing competitive checks...or actress-in-training haha....suddenly I am inspired to become a real estate agent...

"Ohhh...I am thinking of converting my new house into a home office...a design studio. Which are the 2-bedroom units left? How much are you selling per sqf?" - Yeah....I am an entreprenuer!!!

"Thanks for showing me around. Let me go back and discuss with my hubby?" - Suddenly I am married hehe....shucks where is the 3-carat diamond ring? Damn...should ask company to sponsor me as prop.

I nearly let the cat out when a property agent walked me out and asked me where I parked my car. Luckily I acted fast and said,"Ohh....my car is sent for maintenance. I took a cab here. " I suddenly think of the movie "Liar Liar"

It is fun!!! I should visit more showflats.

Toe Scare!

Yesterday I nearly lost my toes. Thanks to my colleague. If not, I have to say,"Goodbye, Toes!"

After lunch, my colleagues were going up the escalator to go back to the carpark. We were chatting about the new shoes that they just bought. I was trying to stand sideways to face them. Subconsciously, I leaned one of my foot against the side of the escalator. Suddenly I realised that it was stuck. I was trying to pull out my shoe but couldn't. Thus I told my colleagues. I was wondering why I didn't pull out my foot first.

Luckily one of my colleagues pulled it from the back, saving my toes. What a close shave! We were very near the end of the escalator. Then I turned behind and realised that there was a handsome guy behind us. So embarrassing! I found it more hilarious than feeling scared.

I nearly broke the Singapore's record of first adult's toes being stuck on escalator. Phew!!!

Do you believe in Serendipity?

Today I was sitting in the bus on my way to work when I suddenly thought of this movie "Serendipity". I watched this movie about 6 years ago. I was wondering what Serendipity meant.

Serendipity is an aptitude for making desirable discoveries by accident or simply good fortune or luck. The story is about two strangers, Jonthan and Sara who meet, love at first sight and play the game of fate.

Sara had written her name and contact no on the first page of the book that she has rented from a bookstore while Jonathan had written his on a note. This started the game of fate where they will plan to unite if they found that particular book and note. In the end, they found it and each other a few years later. Is it fate or just serendipity?

Perhaps serendipity gives you a hope to achieve what is perceived to be impossible. Should I continue to follow my heart and believe in serendipity? Or should I let go and leave in to fate?

I love learning NEW THINGS!

Hmmm....I just realised that I had turned into Ms Grumpy for the past month. I want to become Ms Happy again. I always feel good when I learn new things.

Jewellery making, photography, belly dancing, kickboxing and now writing......so excited......also get to know new friends of all ages.....and now got a chance to learn like an journalist intern...going with instructor's to press conferences or special previews...learning how to conduct interviews and write articles and reviews...After attending the first class, I am already determined to take the advanced classes.

Next items on the learning list: Photoshop, web design, advanced writing and advanced belly dancing.

Anger Therapy

Cool down........control your temper! This has been my self-talk line for the past few weeks. I need to release the negative energy somewhere so I decided to vent it through my blog. If not, I think I will suffer from internal bleeding.

If plotting the temperature of boiling blood on a chart for the past 27 years, the peak was during my secondary school days....gone down during poly days....went up during initial years of working....down and up again.

I began to learn to manage my anger in some ways. Though some of them are wierd, they are rather useful. They are:
1) Go to a room where no one can see you. Jump and jump till you feel very tired. Then you find yourself not so angry at that particular person.
2) Go to the restroom and use your leg to bang/ slam the door damn hard.
3) Go jogging. Run like the roadrunner...as fast as you can. Disclaimer: I shall not be responsible for any risk you undertake here.
4) Go to a quiet corner of the beach and shout as loud as you can till you feel better.
5) Drink lots and lots of cold water.

Two days ago, I was going home with a super explosive mood. A guy nearly closed the lift door straight into my face. Luckily I got in fast. I stared at him angrily. There was no apology and not even an apologetic look. Blood started boiling within me. My mind was already imagining me kicking him in the lift.

When the lift opened, I went out first. When I climbed up the stairs, I vented all my anger to my heels, making damn loud noise. That stupid guy looked at me. I gave him the look of "if you look somemore, my heels will land on your ugly face!"

After I cooled down, I was rather amused by my own doing.

Headless monster

Since I started this new job, my heart has been playing tug-of-war. I clearly knew that I did not follow my heart when making this decision. I have made the choice to feel logically correct.

Every day on my way to work, the angel and devil are actively fighting in my mind.

Angel: Try it. If you succeed, you will gain a very good exposure and portfolio.
Devil: You can guess what is the culture like. Why do you want to let history repeat again?
Angel: Property market is good. Maybe it is a good opportunity.
Devil: But you are not interested in residential property. Why do you have to force yourself?
Angel: Since you cannot find your ideal job in the fashion industry, take this challenge and at least it provides a source of income.
Devil: If you quit again, it reflects very badly in your resume.
Angel: It is a challenge. It gives you more room to use your talent.
Devil: If the culture is like that, do you think you have the power to change it or the bosses' idea? Do you want to work like a slave, always depending on bosses' unpredictable liking?

The above conversation kept playing in my mind. Slowly I got to understand the culture a bit better. Damnnnnnn......it is a headless monster!!! No direction! Fickle-minded! Conservative!

Today I am SUPER PISSEDDDDDDDD!!!!! There was no direction given in terms of the theme of the interior design. I asked the team for more information about the property and theme. My boss was telling me that there was no theme and went ahead briefed the agency. So I came out of some ideas to brief the agencies. The agencies reverted with the designs. I then presented to the GM. GM has chosen a design which I would never have chosen. So I quickly worked on it as I have a very tight timeline. I even asked my boss if they would need to go though the higher management. No.

Suddenly, my boss came to me and ask me to present to the CEO. I was surprised as I had asked the agency to go ahead and make some changes.

Guess what??? The CEO wanted 4 agencies to re-propose the designs and wanted something more clean and simple. I nearly killed myself when I heard this. WHY WAS THE DIRECTION NOT EVEN EARLIER? I brought up the concern on the timeline. However he insisted that we hadenough time. I was extremely furious.

I immediately called all the agencies. I think the agencies must be wondering, "WHY IS THE DIRECTION NOT EVEN EARLIER?".

I am thinking "FXXX, what the hell are you all doing? Do you understand concepts? Or do you based on your so-called taste?" Someone, pls save me. Find me a new job!!!

Sentenced to life imprisonment

Most of us live outside the prison but some of our minds are locked inside the prison.

Recently I know a person who lived under the mercy of others. I could see how miserable his life was. However I doubted he knew that he was living in his own mind prison. When I talked to him about his opinions, he did not seem to have a standpoint and would repeat many times that "Do whatever the boss likes". Initially I was surprised at his words.

I was thinking, "Do power withdraw your ability to voice out? Do you have to swallow your pride when someone spit at you? Why do you have to act like a puppet, moving under the fingers of the holder? Why do you view your job as a mean of living and not a passion? Do you feel lost when you don't know what your boss is thinking? Will working under such culture make you feel happy?" Many questions popped out in my head. I feel angry and sorry for him.

I will never allow myself to fall under that mind trap. If not, no one but you have sentenced yourself life imprisonment.